Going Into The City

California - 20

It seems that we have these cheesy moments, we see them as we dive into our past, still our bad habits exist, of our pitiful song, because we’re social creatures and we have to be heard, we need to. Probably again, to gain attention, a mannerism, having done so myself. This has to do with a relationship with a friend..

“First, she was one opportunistic person whose smile seemed charming yet now her mannerism has left her. I’m glad to have stayed the hell away from her, she won’t be missed,” Lucas stated.

This is unlikely to be the case, it’s just that she just grew apart from him.

She argues:
“Oh, And Then One Time, He Took The Pleasurable Moment To Get The Hell Out,” [shouting] and, “He’s not a good golfer.” [less shouting]

His face was swollen due to the salty foods he eats.

Lucas:
The transportation to get down into the city is not an easy task. The bus depot is downtown, then there are the transfer stations and with time constraints, and with the various schedules, you have to be on time. Also there are things to do like shopping and the drop off locations. *beggars are at these location spots (his favorite).

He continues:
Now, I must wait for a second bus and with people all around me, they are talking, they are everywhere, they are talking but not to me.

If I could, I would talk to them and be heard, but they’re not listening to me, they’re not listening to anyone, they’re talking loudly and on their cell phones because this suddenly becomes their own space, but I’m right here with no place to go. That’s bullshit!

And then there’s the girl on the bus with me, why hasn’t she moved, locating herself to another seat? She’s been sitting next to me since we’ve got on together and she still is, we both got on together at the same time. It’s strange because all the other passengers have gotten off the bus already, I don’t know her, what’s she doing?

Also while riding the bus down to San Francisco, I found and noted a person of interest or I found her online through an apps on my phone called, ‘Crowd Fire’ of people nearby. I replied, intercepted one of her tweets and retweeted her. I also followed her, then she quickly blocks me. Such terse interaction, encrypting, reacting, it’s nothing. Twitter is something she’ll never understand, why does she use it?

The traffic and the noise is bad, it’s picked up, it’s quite loud! It’s all here, what do I make of the place? I love it! The city is fun and exciting. Yes, here I come to see a person of interest, one of my lovelies. I’m going to visit San Francisco, traveling all the way from Sonoma Co. by way of public transportation, ‘The Transporter’. I’m carrying my bicycle along.

This person who I plan to meet, I have sought her out. I met her once before at the park, actually this is where waves of people are always gathered. I know she hangs out there. She’s fair game, I wish to point this out.

She is my first-time lover. I know of her potential, of our potential together.

Lucas phoned her:
“Where are you,”… and riding a bicycle, this was in an attempt to get there…to get to her. “Where are you, where are you located?” He continues talking, “I read you like the little thing that you are,” and then, “Thanks,” and she hangs up on him.

He phones her again:
“You want to meet me? Oh you, how could you, having never loved anyone, have you felt love? You’re like an extremely beautiful glamour model, did you ever remember feeling loved by anyone? Feeling loved, if you call it that, did you truly know this person? Trust them? Well, perhaps you knew that person, but you never knew of such dependency and depending on how much my mind reads this, how to treat them. So, I say to you, treat them with kindness, they love you!”

She explains to him as gentle as she could, “I don’t dislike you, but I don’t love you and yet, I don’t hate you either, so please don’t hate me!” And that’s where he’s at right now, stuck on this!

He continues his phone call:
“Are these the responses I get for this? If I love you, and I do, I will feel it, I feel for you. The love I have for you is in my heart, I love you! How can you have misunderstood me?”

He’s had a crush on her from way back when, in fact he talks about this:
“I had fantasies about her, about us being together, but I think I was too shy to make any moves on her, especially since our family was together at the same church, attending services together on Sunday mornings, but I had to act reverent, especially with her parents watching. I’m sure they were watching us. They knew I liked her.”

Lucas explains:
You know, following a thread, chasing your dreams, and what is your thread, who is your crush, are they somebody you want in your life, someone who you like very much like?

So this is like having a good bottle of wine, perhaps with friends.

I would say to her, “You’re sweet. You have changed, I like that! Hey, You are charming! You’re sweet, can I give you a nickname?”

There are moments when we want to call out to them, to the one, give them names we thrive to hear and we love to pronounce, but we know these are not their names or anyone’s name in particular, they’re just our sweet little thoughts of fantasy of praise.

[pause]

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