I work in the machinery and in the mechanical aspect of the textiles industries and the functionality as a whole. I work in the procurement of this equipment and to make purchases for replacement parts of the equipment in order to get the raw materials into a manufacturer’s specific product and as such these are specific fabrics. Materials such as cotton and wool are our biggest materials used. These are textiles we manufacture and while they are like none other, these products / garments are ever changing to a style, designs implemented by many designers which are in tremendous demands, of such significance to the ever changing culture in the fashion clothing industry.
I mainly work in the procurement of these garments for our designers and their seamstresses. I work in their procurement and help in the distribution of wholesale garments in bulk to the various designer’s clothing line and their companies. I work directly with several well known brand fashion designers. I procure, track and make sure their specific garments are supplied and are readily available to fashion for a new look for whatever any of our designers want.
This is about a woman with whom I work alongside. Her and I work closely together. We also work closely with the others in the fashion industry and there are many of us in the same office. We work in the milling district. There is a lot of work that goes into styling a new design and this is just for one design, whether it be for a man’s outfit or for a woman’s dress, a new dress for example.
She is a good worker and she is a good motivator. These are the frivolities and all of the things associated which go into these fashion shows. I dragged her into this, to get her to do this. She is of good character, a person whom I have met before, a person I became obsessed with and yes, at work (or purportedly to have worked with), a working relationship. I have propositioned her to be in charge of the fashion shows. And she has agreed.
She is a fashion designer. She is Italian. I love her. I’m so impressed by her work. She has an eye for the fashion industry, their hair, their costumes and their make-up and she is quick too. She knows how to remedy their minor problems, the setbacks that hold you up as is most often. This happens back stage and she knows this exists. She’s all too aware that getting ready for a new show may get slowed up and can drag everyone down.
She is a very good set director and is excellent in her abilities to coordinate other’s and their further notions, depending on whose designing decision-making they are, suggestions of whatever or just distractions in general.
She is spot on and she has made it clear to all that she is in charge. She seems to be a person with the capacity to perform well under pressure and to be within the time constraints to get these models, all of the men and women to perform well and look superbly. We would submit to her totally from the onset, submitting to her and to what she was saying. She is a strong-willed person and has a determined personality. She tells you and she motivates you. Backstage you will witness her in action. When she comes onto the scene you will see just how well she does this. These models the men and the women wear their elegant and irresistible attire their clothes and on occasions to showcase them. This was at The Beadle’s Toast Café. They wear their elegance their irresistible clothing on occasions to showcase them at the Beadle’s Posh Retail Café on the Catwalk.
Before, this was all my pure fantasy. I was trying to be Showcase Director myself. I made myself do it, like I was imagining all the girls in a girlie magazine while I was masturbating backstage, nutting myself with my hands on occasion. I thought perhaps no one had seen me, but they knew yes, this was obvious and to my dismay they didn’t bother me, they let me do it. I would just be off in a corner partition somewhere. I set that distraction and nonsense aside and away somewhere.
I have made the connection with this one person and I had allocated this job for her. I threw away my shyness and my fears. I went straight towards her and locked into her gaze steadfastly and I said, “I love you and will you be the Showcase Director?” And with that I gave a her a big kiss. I then placed my arms around her and embraced her with all of my courage and all of my strengths. I began to feel my eyes watering and then I wept.
Anna was all this to me and more. She was as tall as I was and was as strong too. I would meet her gaze face to face. The look in her eyes, this will remain with me for a lifetime. The problem we knew was the coming out, and she wanted to know this already. Would this be my destiny, to love her wholly and that nothing else mattered. It felt so good! That’s right, she was that kind of a person.
She felt like a mother to me. I just wanted to lay my head on her lap to feel secure and I felt secure in her presence. This was so strange for me however this was a wonderful feeling, something a man has trouble admitting to.
The truth is this brakes my heart.
How can a person know just how much you love them. There have been nights I have spent with her in the bed awake staring at her, watching her as she sleeps. Sometimes I’m trying to get back to sleep myself. The little things I do, of what I see watching her, these long lasting images they belong to me. She is the person whom I love whether this person is loving me in return or not or if she is perhaps using me, and is miserable and sick inside. I just can’t tell.
I maybe mentioning something like, ‘In Sickness and in Health’ and ‘For Better or For Worse’, truth is it’s a one-sided love affair. I slept with another woman and for this there is no forgiveness. Now I’ve learned that she’s with another man.
It’s back to work again as usual and we must contain ourselves. We’ve had our affair and now we must move on!