Sitting Beside One Another

Sitting alongside one another protecting their fears, married but not to each other yet protecting themselves, the fear the years of their smudged results, their failures. A collaboration has been set, an attempt by their own efforts, their way of doing things. These are not failures, and they have said, “We are not as outsiders.” They’ll say this. You’ll never benefit or qualify on anyone’s terms.

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They have perhaps forgotten what has brought them together, what it was like, his wife, her husband, to be a happy couple so to speak. Maybe it was their loneliness certainly it was an attraction. They have been trying up to a point, and they were both married but not to each other. There were certain disciplined measures untimely though as this concerns the two individuals sitting there along side one another’s fears.

Those young couples who are not a part of and who are separated from their spouses, what has become of the two? Nobody has taught them how. They played their prudish little games. His maybe, hers too. He cannot ever grow up. They just didn’t know.

A Couple Of Old Friends Met Here.

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..”When I saw you, I caught my breath.”..

He had an encounter with a person he knew when he was a young man. He wasn’t looking for her yet it just so happened that he saw her sitting there, she was all alone.

He sends her a message.

“I can’t believe that I saw you that day, that I had found you. Lindsey, I wasn’t even looking for you, not that I’m even looking for you. Really! You know, I thought this was all a dream.”

Later he met her formerly. This was the occasion to reintroduce themselves. He invites her to have coffee with him at the same place where he first noticed her sitting there all alone.

They talked a little while and then she began talking about her husband.
“He Didn’t Like Place. But Hey, He Enjoyed The Privilege To Get His Vehicle Tags and Registration All Updated And Then He Took The Pleasurable Moment To Get The Hell Out.”

Brandon then asks her, “Who, your husband?”

“Yeah, and that’s when he left me.”

“Oh, how sad!” Brandon was listening very closely to her.

She continues speaking,
“You know..

[ she pauses ]

..one time I told him to move far away from me, I didn’t think I liked him or loved him or anything like that or that I wanted anything to do with him. And then someone asked me..”

..”She’s so sweet,”.. he thinks.

Brandon quickly asks, “Do you still love him, I mean you do don’t you. You’ll have to decide you know?”

“Yeah, it’s only fair that I do that, I mean to decide.” Lindsey assures herself up to a point. “And it’s good to be openly honest, because then you will get over him and soon.”

“I wonder if her lips taste like cherry?” Brandon’s spoken words were hardly spoken loud enough.

“What?”

“Let’s not go there, not yet Lindsey. I have noticed that you are still a young and pretty woman and everything,” Brandon explains trying to find wiggle room.

..”And if I should partake in these little episodes not one but two, with a woman, to strangers to be impoverished by them, but still not yet be caught up in this so much, not yet anyways”..

Lindsey went on to explain what happened to her former spouse.

“But you know he didn’t like place yet he enjoyed the privileges he encountered, and the pleasure to get the hell out!”

This wasn’t what has hurt her ‘ex-husband’ to do this and he knows Lindsey has been sadden by this. This has hurt her so much. He knew there was just too much to strive in his life with her not wanting to travel and to take risks. Her ex-husband has now separated himself with her because their marriage was just not working. There was too much neglect on what the other’s ambitions were and to target their own ambitions and to have adventures together, it just wasn’t happening. Lately there wasn’t enough love between the two, it was because of the deep valley between them and of their differences. She didn’t have any dreams, not any that he could see.

No, Lindsey’s ex-husband could not stay with her any longer taken in to account that she never does want to adventure anywhere. He could not even embrace her, to hold her or even touch her not physically and /or emotionally not like the two had once held one another.

Her ex-husband wrote her a letter:

“Lindsey,

We started off talking and when we introduced ourselves you see, you and I, we hit it off perfectly. We really should have been long gone by now, exploring. There’s a great big world outside”

She didn’t see it that way. Cold are the nights and lonely are the days.

Buckingham, her ex-husband continues:

“Lindsey,

Honestly times are difficult, how that by not using words to explain our ideas because words are all we have?”

Why do we resort into revolting with one another of our own selfish ways?

Brandon brakes his silence,

…”I wonder if her lips taste like cherry?” Brandon’s spoken words were hardly spoken loud enough.

“What?” Lindsey ask.

Revolting is just what these young people do. Him too, it’s their pattern, a way of life.

Brandon begins to speak, “Ooh, You’re the Funk in My Life.” And with that he pulls her in and holds Lindsey’s hand and kisses her lightly on the lips.

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His Sexy Friend

A Sexy Friend He Knows Gets Herself Engaged. She was such a person he thinks, “Just like a breeze,” this girl was. A particularly strong woman, strong in her ways.

She goes out and about in this big city. This is her business her daily affairs where everyday she rides the subway train. And she has the right to, she lives there and she has insight on where she’s going. She uses her time wisely these days in this city where she lives and she lives in that very large city where she goes about her daily life riding on that train in this very large city, it is filled with many millions of people. She takes the subway citywide traveling to various parts of the city places where she likes to stop.

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Today she stops to meet and greet someone very special. On this morning and on this particular day Wednesday, she is preparing for her first stop. And if you could be her and you know you would want to be her, she’s pretty and she’s very well versed on her directions of travel her in transit on this ‘Linea Gialla’ Yellow Line in a single direction. Although today as her schedule allows her, she’s in route to have coffee. Now she’s heading towards the coffee shop her first stop of the day. Her soul mate should meet her there. He should be there.

However they are called; soul mates or friends or acquaintances, she’s diving into a dream. This is the moment and the time is now she thinks because Caterina knows her soul mate should be out there for her, this person whom she is about to meet and that’s okay! There are several coffee shops nearby. He’ll be at one or the other.

It’s neither an upscale or a ghetto type of place but a simple place and is just the right kind of place, a delightful place where she could communicate with ordinary people just like herself, original and not fake or not too suspicious.

“You’ll have more than one soul mate in life, for there are different ones for different things. There are musical soul mates, let’s-get-coffee-together-everyday soul mates, artists soul-mates, etc., etc. The romantic soul mate is only one aspect of this notion, never forget that.”

This was her way, a strategy of hers these quick bursts, ‘Quickies’, energy for the hunt to hurry along as if in demand as if they are calling out to her.

Underground at the subway station at the stop, she comes forth calling, emerging out from that train stop and then suddenly rushing upstairs towards the streets, she’s obviously in a hurry to get to the coffee shop, to be on schedule overran by her overwhelming urge to meet again and to have coffee with him and chat, to meet and greet her new Coffee Soul Mate.

This is her first stop for the day. A quickie stop in the retail store district. She has already met with him on several occasions. Now she looks forward to seeing him again at that corner café and to have the pleasure to get herself reacquainted with him, this her new Coffee Soul Mate.

“Mmm, maybe we’ll just have a quickie in-between shopping, I don’t care where!  He’ll decide where.”

“I held her undies in my hands so they wouldn’t fall down on to that dirty street below.”

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Showcase Director

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I work in the machinery and in the mechanical aspect of the textiles industries and the functionality as a whole. I work in the procurement of this equipment and to make purchases for replacement parts of the equipment in order to get the raw materials into a manufacturer’s specific product and as such these are specific fabrics. Materials such as cotton and wool are our biggest materials used. These are textiles we manufacture and while they are like none other, these products / garments are ever changing to a style, designs implemented by many designers which are in tremendous demands, of such significance to the ever changing culture in the fashion clothing industry.

I mainly work in the procurement of these garments for our designers and their seamstresses. I work in their procurement and help in the distribution of wholesale garments in bulk to the various designer’s clothing line and their companies.  I work directly with several well known brand fashion designers. I procure, track and make sure their specific garments are supplied and are readily available to fashion for a new look for whatever any of our designers want.

This is about a woman with whom I work alongside. Her and I work closely together. We also work closely with the others in the fashion industry and there are many of us in the same office. We work in the milling district. There is a lot of work that goes into styling a new design and this is just for one design, whether it be for a man’s outfit or for a woman’s dress, a new dress for example.

She is a good worker and she is a good motivator. These are the frivolities and all of the things associated which go into these fashion shows. I dragged her into this, to get her to do this. She is of good character, a person whom I have met before, a person I became obsessed with and yes, at work (or purportedly to have worked with), a working relationship. I have propositioned her to be in charge of the fashion shows. And she has agreed.

She is a fashion designer. She is Italian. I love her. I’m so impressed by her work. She has an eye for the fashion industry, their hair, their costumes and their make-up and she is quick too. She knows how to remedy their minor problems, the setbacks that hold you up as is most often. This happens back stage and she knows this exists. She’s all too aware that getting ready for a new show may get slowed up and can drag everyone down.

She is a very good set director and is excellent in her abilities to coordinate other’s and their further notions, depending on whose designing decision-making they are, suggestions of whatever or just distractions in general.

She is spot on and she has made it clear to all that she is in charge. She seems to be a person with the capacity to perform well under pressure and to be within the time constraints to get these models, all of the men and women to perform well and look superbly. We would submit to her totally from the onset, submitting to her and to what she was saying. She is a strong-willed person and has a determined personality. She tells you and she motivates you. Backstage you will witness her in action. When she comes onto the scene you will see just how well she does this. These models the men and the women wear their elegant and irresistible attire their clothes and on occasions to showcase them. This was at The Beadle’s Toast Café. They wear their elegance their irresistible clothing on occasions to showcase them at the Beadle’s Posh Retail Café on the Catwalk.

Before, this was all my pure fantasy. I was trying to be Showcase Director myself. I made myself do it, like I was imagining all the girls in a girlie magazine while I was masturbating backstage, nutting myself with my hands on occasion. I thought perhaps no one had seen me, but they knew yes, this was obvious and to my dismay they didn’t bother me, they let me do it. I would just be off in a corner partition somewhere. I set that distraction and nonsense aside and away somewhere.

I have made the connection with this one person and I had allocated this job for her. I threw away my shyness and my fears. I went straight towards her and locked into her gaze steadfastly and I said, “I love you and will you be the Showcase Director?” And with that I gave a her a big kiss. I then placed my arms around her and embraced her with all of my courage and all of my strengths. I began to feel my eyes watering and then I wept.

Anna was all this to me and more. She was as tall as I was and was as strong too. I would meet her gaze face to face. The look in her eyes, this will remain with me for a lifetime. The problem we knew was the coming out, and she wanted to know this already. Would this be my destiny, to love her wholly and that nothing else mattered. It felt so good! That’s right, she was that kind of a person.

She felt like a mother to me. I just wanted to lay my head on her lap to feel secure and I felt secure in her presence. This was so strange for me however this was a wonderful feeling, something a man has trouble admitting to.

The truth is this brakes my heart.

How can a person know just how much you love them. There have been nights I have spent with her in the bed awake staring at her, watching her as she sleeps. Sometimes I’m trying to get back to sleep myself. The little things I do, of what I see watching her, these long lasting images they belong to me. She is the person whom I love whether this person is loving me in return or not or if she is perhaps using me, and is miserable and sick inside. I just can’t tell.

I maybe mentioning something like, ‘In Sickness and in Health’ and ‘For Better or For Worse’, truth is it’s a one-sided love affair. I slept with another woman and for this there is no forgiveness. Now I’ve learned that she’s with another man.

It’s back to work again as usual and we must contain ourselves. We’ve had our affair and now we must move on!

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If I Sit Silent and Be Perfectly Still

What is it that reminds me of you. It is not the measured sequence of events, the passages of time. No, there are missing years, the missing years I have of you, some passages of time which are not there. I have missed them, meaning I have no recollection of you, no memories at all.

I mean you’re not someone else are you? You are who you are, aren’t you? That’s you isn’t it? I just have met you and have been reintroduced to you. But then I realized you’re not in any way or form a part of my everyday life, obviously not. So, that’s not you is it, standing there nearby, “Are You Who I Think You Are?”

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What would you look like now? What would your appearance be?  Would you appear to be old and grumpy? Please take a picture of yourself or if you have taken any pictures of yourself through all of the years, this then would be pivotal, this would qualify as a measured time sequence, the missing years and a way of knowing, for me at least, an understanding as for myself as to what has been lost. Yes, I have missed all of those years but I hope I don’t miss the current years.

If you would please, can you scan those old photographs digitizing them and eventually you’ll post them online, I hope. Next, hopefully you’ll take a few more pictures with your camera and place them online until we’re all caught up. I don’t know you anymore.

I’ll listen to their voices to see if it’s yours, to see if that’s you, but this isn’t your voice that I know of, and that isn’t you. Hey, I just remembered, I can’t remember either you or your voice. If I can think clearly, if I try to concentrate using my insights or what’s left of my memory then maybe I can remember your voice and you as well. These are my insights and we all have them. Often I sit and I think and if I sit and be real silent and perfectly still long enough while allowing myself to concentrate this then may help me to remember you. And you know what, I think I can remember you and your voice too.

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A Girl I Met Before

It was only a provisional conjecture and herself and her boyfriend both had to agree, she was a friendly person not withstanding of certain issues. She has been on most days a licentiousness person battling with illusion because two people as you know don’t talk this way to highlight one’s lust. She felt this touching and she acted it out daily.

If you were trying to give her chocolate for breakfast then maybe she would calm down. She makes a fuss about how bad she likes different things which is odd and at times unnatural to most. If I could get her attention I would ask her, “Would you like a cocktail this morning?” Then maybe this would calm her down. I have been over to her boarding room. She is on strong prescribed medications and after her morning walk she can begin to relate. I try to help her out when I can, I want to, it’s the right thing to do.

I go to the public library in town to the computer area and this is where she can be found most of the time. This is the part of town at the library where there are many computers and there’s always many people waiting on them. These people don’t appear to be professional college students either, quite the opposite if you ask me.

Sometimes it works better for me to ride my motorcycle part of the way and I park it downtown then I catch a taxi over to meet her. I do this so I don’t disturb her.

Micki would go out of her room and just be wearing a coat and that’s it. Often when I confront her and when I meet her I wear a coat also. She is a sexual person and has a sinister mannerism but that’s just in her nature. “We could just lay down in a booth at the back of the bar and have sex, this wouldn’t take long because she hasn’t worn any clothes underneath her coat and I hardly have either. It wouldn’t take us long to figure this creativity out as she now is begging for my thickness.” She was practically soaking wet and him with a raging hard-on.

“You’ve got to do something for me,” was all she said. This was all it took for him. He recognized the smells of her oils she had on and she gave a glowing romantic look to him and from her body her coat had split open to reveal her nakedness.

“I try to help her out when I can, I want to, it’s the right thing to do”..

Of course he needed someone to stop him. He needed the help from his male counterparts in particular his best friend. This was pure fantasy that he desires and it will destroy him.

She was wanting someone anyone or a better way to put it, ‘Sex’ and for someone to put something inside her butt and in a public place for God’s sakes although she’s had psychological problems and was also piss poor morally.  She would probably come up on that dick real quick and in a heartbeat. A toxic person who was liable to get caught in the very act of having sex and then be taken by ambulance off to a hospital and into a psych ward somewhere. It was because she’s gotten sloppy and she was a miserable mess, lethargy had set in attributed to her daughter Stacy. She was deeply effected by the birth of her child long ago, now her daughter’s attractiveness to the opposite sex has her worried.

Now Micki walks through the town alone most all of the time and people have began to noticed that she acts kind of strange. She has been diagnosed with a mental disorder and labeled as having manic-depression by her Family Prac she’s on meds too and on the state’s welfare system;

“I’m not lost a loser or anything like that with me trying to chase her.  I wasn’t aware of her illness or I guess I was in denial.  Now, since I am aware of it I stand to lose a lot, that is if I continue to deal with her because she is a very sick person that I can see.”

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The Three Wise Men

So we begin our journey and we will prevail here on this our journey because the weather is mild or milder than most. And the waters, the rivers and the warm springs are where we will cleanse ourselves and we shall sleep in the weather shelters scattered abroad.

Far off in such a place, if it exists and it does from what we witness because the gravitational pool of the Earth has taken hold, the heavens have opened up and above us there is stellar movement being offered as light, it is quality enough for us to do so, to begin our journey even in the darkness.

If this is true that a king has been born then we wish to know him and if such a place exist and we have witnessed him, if we see him, we will be indivisible. We have willingly taken risks ourselves to make this journey as our counsel suggests, to know the truth.

Refutation observed amongst us but the constellation of stars prove otherwise and forcibly so.

So we begin our journey from an easterly direction and as we have traveled towards our destination it now appears this location that we seek is the same original location where the first inseparable human being was formed, this man who was inseparable from his creator. This is a man who came out of the ground in a location near there, a sacred place that has plenty of rain and calm temperatures. A place where rivers flow, land is fertile and where life is abundant.

We continue on our journey.

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