Looking Out My Window

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Looking out my window I wasn’t in love with the flow of energy and with the same gender as hers or with any of these people because she looked liked him and him like her. They were here when I first noticed these people, there were many of them and they all looked alike.

And then I became fascinated with the way they wore their elegant attire, their clothes they had worn on a daily basis, the way they had appeared or seemed to be meeting you. All I can do now is get along well with them. So I was wondering if they were trying to get along with me too to make sure? I’m so leery about all of this because of her and me especially me being shy and all. I have touched the hem of her skirt by accident. I have willing confessed that I was sorry.

She’s so mild, milder than me. I think though with me the tensions are inside of me and this is explosive to a point. Whatever it is it’s running towards me and towards my fears but in order to evade that shadow, the quill of darkness and her hands I’ve started running away too. It’s too late though because she’s already upon me and has caught up with me, she or whomever she is, she turns me on though! She’s compelling to a thought process.

Yes, and her hands, someone’s hands I thinks it’s her hands as this better be hers. They’ll be molding and taking the shapes of my form, my body outlining my body and touching it touching me, a gentle pulling beckoning me. Why won’t I let her, “Let her get her say.” I told myself this.

Perhaps this older woman, other women, another woman, a pretty woman but whomever they are they’re trying to restrain me. Yes, they want something from me although it’s probably a generous offer, perhaps it’s just an act, a way of kindness. If this is a way to show kindness and generosity I certainly do not recognize this kindness. I admit though it’s very alluring, actually I should try it and go with the flow. I will need then to stop my resistance, perhaps buy her flowers at the kiosk as she advances towards me yes, try to get caught up with her, “Try it dammit.” Try to see where this may lead to, in fact it maybe sexual in nature or not. Either way what? I was too youthful to make any sense of this woman’s gestures. They’re grabbing my arm, “I don’t won’t to hear it,” I would say. The pulling the gesturing what does it all mean. Oh, but she’s a gentle soul, without a doubt.

“I wasn’t aware of your kindness and for that I am sorry now. You are a gentle soul from what I can see, you seem to want something from me so, let’s go and do as you wish my Madam Dearest.”

She Wanted Me To Come Over To Her Apartment And Fix Something.  So Why Had It Taken Me So Long To Figure That Out.

So why had it taken her so long to fix something. It’s been three or four months since the problem has occurred and all during this time what has she done about it. I learned that the repair parts only cost her $24.00 . All this just to decide who should fix her water filtration on her refrigerator.

I changed it out in just under 3 minutes that’s when the repairs were evident. I would have given her my helping hand sooner. There would have been zero tips, zero time wasted and at a cost under the presumption of what it takes to observe such matters and this would have been for me to notice her in her pretty attire, “You’re beautiful with your neglect,” this here is a gorgeous and pretty woman.. I would have been a little embarrassed with my own impish ways if I shouldn’t say so myself !

That’s a thought, no a fact; If you make eye contact with her and she starts to move her mouth, unless she deemed untrusted, unworthy and obviously unfiltered let her speak her mind to you!

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We all drank tap water growing up, at home, school church work and everywhere because that’s all there was. So drinking tap water yo, what’s the big fuss?

I have learned my lesson and that is; Let the Spinster Lady Have Her Say and Have Her Way With Me!

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The Place Where Nobody Goes

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The Place Where Nobody Goes

The landscape and the mechanical aspect of it all have been forgotten. Flowers fade as do dreams then one season the flowers they suddenly appear yet you are ruined. The flowers are beautiful as before yet nothing awaits you because of a stillness.

They were afraid yet they had alternatives plans throughout this whole ordeal this is how they felt about their impact on togetherness.

I had a dream come to me today and I wasn’t sleeping. I remembered where we were and what we did we had a good talk. What a way to start the day. What I gave to you can hardly be noticed now. What I did give you, if anything hopefully gets noticed if not technically because I was kind to you and also very generous.

They lived their life that way, she however has gone on.

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The Place Where Nobody Goes

I think you are putting too much emphasis on the town and not enough on the grounds outlying the little town. Have you not done anything, either to visit the grounds around since you’ve lost her, the town and a few of the surrounding areas and these places you see here.

There was a landmark building that once stood here that I remember, itself was a store and it had a drive-thru window for selling liquor back in it’s heyday. There was a bar next doors. Usually the patrons were sent to a room off to the side of the bar. The room was put there especially for consuming their drinks. So here some sat drinking and talking with one another and often they would go to the porch outside, here was a patio area for relaxing outdoors called The Beer Garden.

They will always remember all those many years ago.

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The Place Where Nobody Goes

I never let this wisdom suffice me. When men talk of tales or when women silence an order of agenda, oh never let one fill the room with their ranter.

Nearby the railroad tracks were close enough and the interstate was easy to access. The land divides this town into sections. The landscape comes into view just here.

Although now though thinking that through all of these years one just didn’t do nothing unless they were a dumb and unimaginative person.

Much of this new stuff is a hat trick. It’s been three or four months since, it’s strictly forbidden and forcibly so but I should be calm by now.

You don’t just stay within somebody’s realm and then get up and leave their presence and then say nothing unless they are no longer with you.

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A New Project Bike A Different Way Of Riding

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   I want a Honda Shadow RS Motorcycle. It is a 750cc liquid cooled standard motorcycle. And I want some hippy design paint on the gas tank and also on the fenders and maybe a peace sign with some paisley graphics. I will like the white color as a base color.

   I don’t need a big heavy motorcycle. It’s not the rate of speed or a powerful engine and a lot of horsepower which are like so many bikes out there especially in today’s market and if you combine a more powerful motorcycle with distances traveled in such short periods of time or in record time. Maybe that’s because this has always been the way we did our riding. You know, to go barreling down the road at a high rate of speed on a powerful motorcycle. I did this. I’m thinking I’ve been doing it wrong all this time.

  So I’m thinking of a smaller bike and one that has the same potential.  A motorcycle you can take on the main roads as well as being excellent to ride on the back roads and I wish to take my time to stop and visit many places and talk to people.

  Many times I wanted to park but didn’t stop and this was usually because there was no place to pull over or to turn around on my rather large motorcycle.  Here the Honda Shadow RS is a smaller bike and I think it is more practical.  I will add accessories to make myself comfortable. Who is with me.

   I’ve read a book titled ‘Jupiter Travels’ where Ted Simons rode his motorcycle a Triumph 500cc motorcycle around the globe and it took him four years to do so.

  Well there is more here and what am I talking about? I’m talking about an experience. I am talking about such experiences that will help me experience many diverse things and see many things which will help me learn things and again express myself. Yes, you express yourself by riding a motorcycle. It has been said that with the right feel of the right bike underneath you this will enable you to express yourself on that motorcycle. That is if you are fitted well with the motorcycle. I’m referring to the Honda Shadow RS the one I’ve delivered a picture of here.  I am talking about a small little motorcycle and one that would have the potential for traveling long distances.  I’m talking about a motorcycle to travel on the back roads. The kinds of roads where you see fences put along beside the roads and in the nearby fields you see cows in those fields nearby the roads that you’re on.

  I’m also talking about when there is the time to stop the motorcycle and this should be simple enough, this is the time you need to stop and visit the little places you’ve come to. You have to note what one manufacturer does compared to another manufacturer, and that you’re attributing your allegiance with that manufacturer or with whomever and what this brand of motorcycle has to offer you. Are you just patronizing that particular manufacturer to be cool? Did you ever think of being different? And if not, why not?  I feel that for me this is called a project bike, and that’s what I want to call it, “A Project Bike.” 
  It is a very clear preconceived notion of insights which have come from my past experiences. Although many who do this sort of thing are reverting backwards or are heading into a life style adapted to their own, that of city bike life style. Of course I don’t know how else to describe the experience. 
  I’m thinking you have to envision a little bit of the history behind motorcycling and how we morphed into what we see out on the highways today with the big twin cruisers; Hondas, Harley Davidsons and BMW’s and others. These were thrust at our generation or of my age group. We all morphed into these bigger bikes, these bigger motorcycles from an early age. I myself have morphed into what is called Sport Touring, a style of motorcycling. Check this out. I had a Honda 1300ST also a BMW R1150R which is a Sport Touring motorcycle, they had travel cases or bags some call them panniers and the Sport Touring bikes they have wind shields. Today I ride a Harley Davidson 2012 Dyna Super Glide Custom.
  I can remember as a very young child at the age of 5 or 6 years old playing out in the yard where we lived back in the early 1960s. Someone had a mini bike and was riding it up and down the streets near our home. I ran towards the excitement. I also remember borrowing someone’s 90cc Honda Scooter near the ball park one evening. I took off on this 90cc mini bike across the fields. I think you’ve might have heard this called ‘Free-Range Parenting’. My parents never knew I rode someone’s mini bike in my neighborhood or anywhere else. But hey, they let me play outside unsupervised and that’s what the kids did back then in the early 1960s you know?
 Later, I had acquired a small motorcycle of my own I was only 17 years old. This was in 1974 and the bike was a used 1971 175cc Honda Motorcycle On/Off Road Enduro. We would take to the sidewalks and ride beside of the roads but not on the roads looking for places where we could ride. I can remember riding up steep embankments. That was my early beginnings.
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   It wasn’t until 1992 that I bought my first real motorcycle a Harley Davidson 1992 Sportster 883cc. Ever since then I’ve owned a motorcycle. There have been many that I have owned. Now I ride a Harley Davidson Dyna Super Glide Custom 96ci or 1500cc . I thinks it’s smaller in size than the HD Big Twin touring bikes yet it has enough power to get me across country if I choose to. I have put on over 180,000 miles on all my bikes combined since 1992. More than that probably. Yet I have lost count. But I always seem to remember how many miles I have put on each bike right before I trade them in for something new.
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   I have rode this bike for many miles to many new places. This BMW was an excellent motorcycle and I remember riding this BMW down into NYC into Manhattan of NYC. I rode this bike all over New England and to the Upstate New York.
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 Out of all my motorcycles I have put more miles on this Honda ST 1300 than any one.  Also with this bike I rode further on any day’s ride than any of the other bikes I have owned. The most exhilarating of all my rides have been done on this bike, the Honda ST1300. That ride started in Coeur d’Alene, ID and I rode all the way to Mountain Home, ID. That was one day’s ride. The next morning I rode this Honda ST1300 from Mountain Home, ID to Las Vegas, NV. I remember entering Nevada and riding through a  small town called Jackpot, NV. The entire state of Nevada is a beautiful place where to ride a motorcycle. The roads are well paved and the scenery is gorgeous.
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This was my first big Harley I owned. This was however my second Harley Davidson. My first was a 1992 HD Sportster 883cc.
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This is my current motorcycle, a Harley Davidson Dyna Super Glide Custon.
  However now I’m looking for that niche bike, that project bike or is this just an idea in my head. I’m thinking about the guy who rode his Triumph Bonneville 500cc around the world that took him to many places. He was gone for 4 years on a motorcycle trip.
  What do I want from all of this. The Honda Shadow RS is a 750cc engine and has a liquid cooled motor. The motor is designed for tighter tolerances. It is quieter and the engine runs smoother as well.  It is lighter weight and is very easy to handle / maneuver and has a low seat height. I can touch the ground with my feet. Overall the bike is less intimidating.
   Maybe I just need this Honda Shadow as a second bike to do all this. Not a bad idea. Who is with me? 
More to follow.

 

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I Should Ask Her, “Do You Like Beer”.

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We should get a fresh start. All we need is some time to spend together and quite so after such a long absence. I think we need to do this more often too and on many occasions and in of a variety of ways and on various occasions.  You know we have the time and now is that time.

‘Now because she loves you and loves your company she’ll welcome you if for whatever’.

She Spoke Coded Words To Me and To The Others For This Is What We Do This Was Our Pattern Of Life.

We Fell Into a Pattern Of Life. She Wore Her Pants Tight. This has been our life’s experiences.

“I SHOULD ASK HER, “DO YOU LIKE BEER!”

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You and I, we are like this and we are hurting ourselves. It’s hurting us this is, it’s hurting you, it’s hurting me and our relationship is dysfunctional don’t you get it?

All her life she has spoken poetic things to me and to the others but still what did they mean. She seems to want me to believe her. Like so many people in a relationship she too awaits for my physical presence always time after time and again, for me to be in a conversation with her on many topics in fact. And that’s okay with me!

So this was our pattern, an internal relationship a pattern ship, so to speak.

Frickin matter wichew you. You know words will chew you up and that they will destroy you!

She’s crying because yesterday I was reading a narrative in a book of fiction about how a situation had arisen and I described that to her, “You know we’re like this and it’s hurting us, it’s hurting you, it’s hurting me and our relationship. It really is just like this for us don’t you see?”

Her responses were only after I had told her this, “Look, haven’t you got something to do and a family to return to so you better go home and back to your life?”

Are these the responses I get for this? If you love her you will feel it. It is at this point that you will feel it, you feel the love for her and the heart felt love you have for her. Please help me write this story!

Please tell me if you haven’t tried to read what was going on inside of her head. Trying to help a family member professionally when you can. You know such use of family members who try to help each other and that is if they can get along but that is just what we do.

I hope she gets better. Please help her to get well, I would pray. I was trying to make a fresh new start. I wanted to.

We should have a fresh start. It takes absenteeism to value someone’s long over due presence. Where absenteeism is due to someone’s mental condition. This person is not there, their character is not and you’re not on the same level of thoughts as they although we should be. But you can make note of that changed character. When I wittiness her irrational behavior, I think this is in need of attention and for real professional help. What’s needed is education where we will educate ourselves, though in doing that we need to point out what we have misunderstood. We will first need to talk. We’ve got no reason not to, plus we need to be on the same level. We need more flexibility. My heart is welcoming her. We will need more time to spend together, several more occasions and you know what, we have that time. And now is that time!

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Sometimes in life there needs to be more searching. And with her I’m going beyond my daily life chores of things I must do to get her the help she needs. I wanted to give her something here. Why am I going out on a limb for her? Because I like her and because I wish to treat her equally as I would want to be treated. Nobody wants to be disposed of. And if you’re a person who seems to want something from me and I like you then well, it’s only natural for me to try to help you. If you’re okay with this then I am also okay with this. We need something here possibly a one on one conversation. If we can so please let’s use this time wisely for our well being. Please!

If I had a mind to I would. Yes, I do have a mind to and on so many levels, its on the forefront of my mind. No harm though because these are measured steps. I’m going to!

I could on an occasion show up to her place and introduce smoking myself a cigar and pour myself something strong to drink. Now because she loves you and loves your company she’ll welcome you if whatever. Just be yourself and be able to move forward and go with the flow.

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