Now what he dreams about, still ever dreaming of episodes taking place, for the better or the worse, he wished they would, yet he doesn’t know of any such a course, they were all of his dreams.
He lives in a dreary place not particularly for him though, having been so sheepishly involved, hardly in it at all. Maybe whomever would bring a plate of food, whomever she was.
Although episodes such as these and the other episodes he has imagined, they were all his dreams and they weren’t likely to occur. They were just his thoughts. He had nothing but time.
He begun to worry about himself, about remaining here at this place, that clock would be running out soon, so to speak, about his activities, the things he loves to do, he stopped partaking in those activities, the ones he once held dear.
He has begun to worry about his family, but they weren’t around, not so much anymore, so he would wander around the little town, the places where he once lived and played. He was constantly walking around throughout the town, sometimes riding his bicycle, trying to get a grip, to get exercise, to get closure. He sits on his lawn chair he bring along or anything, to be in the public gathering areas, the parks, trying to be available to talk and have conversation. He watches other people, their activities, of their youthfulness. His spirits are high, yet he is confused, he had no life, no one.
Of all the old things around his place, the unkempt, the disarray left as it were. He sees where the landscape and the mechanical aspects if it all have been forgotten.
Once drinking beer because beer tasted good, of a once stable life, an occupation, but there’s no longer an occupation or circulatory motion, there hasn’t been for a while.
“It’s as if I’ve silenced her, by my own insincere pettiness, by my jealousy, because at the time she stood out as a very young and pretty woman.”
She eventually became his wife. This was a rather special, delightful and warm feeling. Although now he has no one. She has since gone on. He needs to move on.
He Truly Loved Her Yet There He Sat. His story:
So I truly believe, now since I have the time to take a certain path, plus I have a home and a place to fall back to, returning to my home whenever I want. I may move onward and go places, traveling, moving from place to place. In the beginning, as you know this will be uncertain, although it looks most appealing. Here, I will not say goodbye, not so much, because without a doubt I will return and be back soon, once again resuming my path, because I have nothing but time, so I shall be starting again at my original starting place. Although it is here that I wish to leave, wanting to get away from here rather badly.
What a nice day for challenging ourself ‘Myself’ to take a look around me.
…The landscape and the mechanical aspects of it all have been forgotten. Flowers fade as do dreams then one season the flowers, they suddenly reappear, yet he is ruined. The flowers are as beautiful as before, yet nothing awaits him because of a stillness…
…They were afraid yet they had alternatives plans throughout this whole ordeal, of her illness and this is how they felt about their impact on togetherness, their life together for many years…
“I had a dream come to me today and I wasn’t sleeping. I remembered where we were and what we did, we had a good talk, we always had good talks. What a way to start the day!”
“What I gave to you my dear can hardly be noticed now. What I did give to you, if anything, hopefully this gets noticed, if not technically because I was kind to you and also very generous.”
Yes, he hoped so. They lived their life that way, she however has gone on.